I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
