I am in a vortex of obligation.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
