Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
