Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I forget how to act sober
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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