thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
