Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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