Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
