i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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