What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
