Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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