I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
