Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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