THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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