Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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