mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Randomize
