It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
