this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They have beer where we have blood.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
