I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
