Pappa wants mamma naked
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
