OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
