shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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