marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize