yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
