I'm really into asian looking animals
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
