I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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