Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
