lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
