I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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