she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
please don't ironically join a cult
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