We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
