The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never underestimate the power of titties
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
