WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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