I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
