im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
