nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
