Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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