if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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