Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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