who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
