I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
