hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
