uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
