# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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