Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
