Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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