He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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