I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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