I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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