he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
