If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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